After careful analysis, I am beginning to doubt my sanity. Do you know anyone else that has a hobby she doesn't enjoy? Didn't think so.
The previous two weekends (and two half marathons) were amazing. I felt on top of the world. Then came yesterday and 18 miles. I DREADED every step of the run. Let me repeat. Every step, not just the last few miles were miserable! I really and truly didn't want to be out there-and the long run is my favorite run.
Yesterday's run proves to me that choosing Grandma's Marathon to be my last marathon is a smart move. I'm a halfer. I didn't want to be; I wanted to be a full marathoner, but I just don't enjoy it. (Okay, so I had this same conversation with my friend, Amber, last night. One marathon does make you a marathoner; you don't have to keep doing them, but, you know what I mean.)
Part of my problem is mental. I guess that makes sense since I am questioning my sanity to begin with! Even though I have completed three full marathons, my mind doesn't really believe my body can do it. All three of those marathons were in 2009. The first one went well. The second and third were three weeks apart from each other (Hello, Rock N' Roll extra medal!) and completed while I was injured so those races weren't run anywhere near the way the first marathon was run.
Having completed 13 half marathons, they are almost second nature to me. The hilly IU marathon I ran over spring break without any running the previous week proves to me that no matter what shape I'm in I can always pull out a half-marathon. A marathon, though? My mind just doesn't believe I can run more than 15 miles. "Of course, you can run 13," my head says. "And 15, that means you'll be even more prepared for a half." But 18 or 20? My head just doesn't believe. I become so mental about my ability to run that far that the entire run is horrible. Realistically, if I just ran 13 miles the last two weekends, it seems that I would be able to get at least that far with ease and then struggle, but no, no, not my body. My body lets the mind rule which means every single step is awful!
After my 18 miler was over yesterday, I took the opportunity to reason with my mind. I let it know that I really only have 3 long runs left; 20, 22, and the marathon with two medium runs sprinkled in between. Hopefully, I will get a break from my mental running the next 5 weeks. Fingers crossed!
When it comes to running, my mind is the same way. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to convince my mind that running long distance is fun, but that doesn't happen very often. I know what you're going through.
ReplyDelete